October 11- 14 2009

October 14, 2009 mommytoabpluskb

Today, Kiran got to wear her 2nd set of clothes ever and Alex and I picked out a cute light pink outfit that is very thick so she wouldn’t be cold.

Her giraffe was moved to the other side of the NICU, away from the nurse’s desk since she isn’t considered critical care anymore. She is beginning to regulate her own temperature and might graduate to an open bed this week or next.

Since she started her pump feedings, she’s been having more bradycardias, drops in her heart rate.  The doctor says it’s normal and may be due to her not being used to having food in her belly.  Just think about how you feel when you have a very full belly, almost like you can’t breathe or feel sick.  Her belly needs a little time to get used to having food in her belly, although the amount of food she has in her belly is equivalent to take one bite of something every hour.  That’s how sensitive her digestive system is.

She is up to 5cc/hr on her pump feeds and she now weighs 4 pounds 11 ounces. I spoke to her doctor today and he said her feeding will be slow. First we have to make sure she tolerates the increased amount in the pump feeds. Then she graduates to syringe feeds, and then bottle feedings. So, she will definitely not be home this month.

Alex seems the most disappointed because she wanted her sister dressed as Thing 2 and she wanted to go Trick or Treating with her. So, I’m going to take lots of pictures of Kiran wearing her costume and print it out for Alex to carry with her on Halloween and for her parade at school.

Kiran is also getting physical therapy.  Basically, she went backwards.  She came out too early and she still had tons of room in my belly to move around, so she never got squished.  Now, most of the time she lies on her back or her side.  The physical therapist said that the babies needs to be squished in the belly because they are forced into the fetal position, which in turn makes them kick and punch against your belly and makes them stronger.  Kiran never had the chance to really do that.  So now when she is being held or getting physical therapy, we squish her legs in and that will strengthen her legs.  She is also getting stretching to her neck to make her neck stronger and not as floppy and delicate like now. In addition, she has a lazy right eye.  So the therapist pushes the eyelid down to see if she tries to open it and that should strengthen the eyelid and therefore give her more control of it.  Sometimes it opens with the left eye, but never all the way or not even at all.  And when it is opened, it doesn’t focus at all.  Her left eye does seem to focus much better.  She was actually staring into my eyes, my face tonight.  They said it is normal and should be something she will eventually grow out of.

Kiran will do things on her own time, and she cannot be rushed or we would be taking steps backward again and we don’t want that. As much as I’m dying to have her home this month, or by her due date of 10/24, I know it’s not possible.

She still has so many things to accomplish before they can even talk about her possibly coming home.

October 13

Yesterday, Marguerite her nurse gave her two baths and changed her into a cute outfit I brought from home and she looked adorable, except for the PICC line in her head.  I’m having so much fun dressing her in different outfits.  It makes it seem more now like she’s becoming a regular baby.

She has been doing well on her pump feedings and is now on 6cc/hr of formula.  Today she had a big day, but it got her cranky.  The first BIG news is that she is now officially in an open bed.  I think it will take some getting used to because now she can hear more noise around her.If she has clothes on, and is swaddled and covered with a blanket she is able to keep her temperature up.  The second not so good thing today was that her heart rate went low and she began showing signs of anemia since they’ve been taking blood still every day.  So, she had a transfusion which lasts several hours.  So, once again she got stuck and the IV was put in her foot.  By the time I got there tonight it was just finishing, but she was not happy.

The nurse was holding her when I came in because Kiran had been crying.  Then she handed her over to me and she was still unhappy.  Once the transfusion was done, the nurse disconnected it, but still had to leave the IV until tomorrow’s tests came back.  She wouldn’t even take the pacifier.  Finally, some spit up came up, and some gas came out, and once again she felt better finally.  The night nurse said she was sleeping peacefully and actually had to remove one blankets because Kiran had become toasty warm at 99.3 degrees!

I feel sad tonight because I see babies go home from her NICU all the time and from my mommy’s online board I’m a part of.  It just seems like it is taking her so long to get to where she has to be so we can take her home.  Babies who were born 10 weeks early have gone home and done better than her and it upsets me a little.  I know I need to be patient and it will happen in time.  But her due date is slowly approaching and it makes me more anxious.

All Kiran has known all her life is being poked with needles, and prodded, and her belly measured, and blood tests from her heels, transfusions, wires attached to her chest, and PICC lines in her head.  It makes my heart ache for her.  When I hold her, it is so hard to put her back down and have to go back home without her once again. And now she is getting older and realizes that when somebody comes near her, they might hurt her.

Today I put all my maternity clothes up for sale on Craigslist.  It hit me that I will never be pregnant again.  I am actually afraid to become pregnant again.  Every time I see Dr. Thompson, my OB, he reminds me that I almost died.  I was supposed to have my tubal ligation today, but because of insurance issues, it had to be cancelled.  We have an agreement with the hospital that they would pay the first three months of Cobra.  Yet the woman still had the check sitting on her desk yesterday for two weeks.  So, as of now, we are without insurance and I gave myself a migraine dealing with the women’s incompetence.  The check was mailed today, so hopefully we will have retroactive  insurance some time next week.  I wanted to get the surgery now and be healed by the time Kiran came home so I can take care of my girls.

I took Alex to the pumpkin patch near us and she had a good time.  We have a busy weekend coming up with Maddie’s birthday party and Diwali.  I’m looking forward to going to the temple again.  It’s been a long time.

October 14

Mom and I saw Kiran today and again she seemed unhappy, like she had gas.  Also, there is more light and more noise in that area so maybe she was just annoyed.  I’m not sure.  But, I hope she adjusts to her somewhat new surroundings soon so she can relax.  She wasting calories and energy by crying so much.

She is now 4 pounds 12 ounces and 17 3/4 inches long.  Also, at birth her Apgar scores were 7 and 8 and that means she was healthy at birth.

here’s some new pics

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One Comment Add your own

• 1. Tineya Murray  |  October 15, 2009 at 12:14 am

  Lisa, Kiran in always in my prayers. I cant wait for the day that you can bring her home healthy.

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